i didn't decorate the kitchen

so, i'm at my parents' house. it's the wonderful land of soft. soft tissues, soft blankets, soft carpeting, soft voices . . . it's wonderfully soft. it's also Christ-mas. i just left the jostling world of petion-ville, haiti where not very much is soft and it's hard to believe that it's Christ-mastime and i was plunked down right in the middle of this:

so as we're making our delicious Christ-mas cookies (good for the baby), my mother laments, "i didn't decorate the kitchen." i look around. Christ-mas dishes? check. Christ-mas dish towels? check. Christ-mas aprons? check. Christ-mas glasses and pitchers? check. but true, no extra Christ-mas nicknacks to be seen! shocking! what if, just think about this, someone were to enter through the living room, pass all the nativity scenes and find themselves in the barren kitchen?! what would happen? would he/she know it's Christ-mas?!!
would the towels and dishes be enough?
i surely hope so. i hope our hearts and our attitudes would be a better reflection of what Christ-mas is than our living rooms.
thankfully, in my parents' home i know that the point of this holiday time is much greater than decorating and making cookies. the Lord, His birth, His sacrafice, those are the focus of our home! i will pray for you this week, that you too can keep that focus.
even if the kitchen isn't decorated.

i will miss you

not exactly the 12 days of Christmas

in twelve days i will leave my home. i will leave behind faces, hands, hopes and memories that i don't want to let go of. i will have to say that dreaded word . . . "goodbye." and i don't want to. not even a little bit. i've been thinking about running water, flushing toilets, fresh fruit, jamba juice, and the thing is, i'd give it all up to stay here. i DID give it all up to stay here. but now i'm going back. it hasn't really sunk in yet. because i've left for Christmas before, this just seems like another holiday right now. but i won't see them anymore. and i can't even begin to put that hurt into words.

pa pa

okay, i know it's been said, but i just want to say it once again: i miss this boy sooooooo much! his sweet little voice and the way he called me "oo!" and then it evolved to "oo-oo!" his lips and gums in every smile! his slappy feet running toward me!
i always knew it was him without even looking by the way his feet hit the floor! oh, pa pa, how i miss you. i wish i could snuggle with you right now. i know you're happy
in that cold, cold world,
but i'm just saying without you
here we're a little . . . empty.